New Beginnings, Second Chances

I am so fucking grateful for reprieves, however they show up. I loved moving down to SCz and starting a new life because it felt like a chance at a new beginning - a nearly clean slate that I was dying to mark up with pretty colored chalk. I knew I was the same person as when I left, but the opportunity to practice all the life skills I've learned in the last few years in the forging of this new life is rare, and I appreciate it.

In learning these life skills, I've become so grateful for second chances. As I told a friend recently, the big lesson I'm learning is I can't be a complete bitch to people and expect no reaction; though I've always said I know that the world doesn't revolve around me, and prided myself on that self-awareness, my ego still has a tendency to speak for me when its hurt, which leaves those on the receiving end just as confused and hurt as me. So when I fuck up, its such a blessing to get a second chance, and I'm done screwing those up, too.

So here's to a new year, a new stage, a new perspective and a new outlook, and may all of these continually grow and change, cuz I like when life keeps me on my toes!

Trans Cereal

Similar to my last post, I'm thinking a lot about the shortcomings of words and language lately, especially as I sit down to write my first response paper for my Fem Theories class. Most of the things we talk about in Fem Studies (Trans Studies in particular) are the things no one is talking about. Ever try using spell check on a fem studies paper? Most of the words we use are (SAT word comin' at ya, brace yourselves) neologisms: n. a newly coined word or expression. If you've ever worked with MS Word, you know that the spell check dictionary is already pretty weak, so peer reading/re-reading is essential to make sure "cisgendered" "medicalized" and "intersectionality" are spelled correctly.

Like I mentioned with the last post about gender-neutral pronouns, messing with language is essential to resistance. Even though we have to use it, language is created, reified and enforced by the same dominant culture we're trying to give a run for its money, and spell check confusion is just the first of many roadblocks.

Another of my favorite vlogs from Red, posted especially for you fellow cisgendered folks out there!

i r collage stoodint

Ok, I don't feel that dumb, but the first few weeks here at UCSC have made startling clear how long I've been out of school. I've already learned not to try to read without a dictionary close by, and sometimes I feel like my skull needs to expand to make room for everything. Its not just the information that's challenging, its the whole new way of thinking and critiquing the world around us. Feminist studies is concerned with examining constructs that we accept as "normal" in our everyday lives and questioning why we think that way.

Concrete example: pronouns. Why do we feel the need to place everyone we meet into the binary gender categories? How do you know that that person you read as a guy likes to be referred to as such? After their name, isn't a person's gender the next thing you need to pin down? Why?

Here's a challenge: try referring to everyone you talk about using the gender-neutral pronouns "they/their". Notice how important it is to gender people into one of two restrictive gender categories. Yes, this will require fucking with grammar, but notice as you do that how the very language we speak is embedded with this binary gender system.

Please comment and let me know how it goes - I'd love for this blog to be more of a conversation, loquacious as I am.

I leave you with my new favorite video blogger, thanks to my trans studies prof: